长大成人的难处pdf「感慨长大成人的烦恼」

《长大成人的难处》：Whoever has never experienced setbacks is not a person in youth.

双语美文 英汉对照读美文，感悟语言的艺术

长大成人，怎么就这么难！

今天小编给大家带来的书是《长大成人的难处》，作者是河合隼雄，由其儿子河合俊雄编成。河合隼雄是日本著名的心理学家，第一位日本荣格心理分析家，他还是村上春树的心灵导师。

长大成人是每一个人都要经历的人生阶段，但与之而来的，是各种令人费解的“成长症状”，有的像是青春剧狗血的电视情节，有的却又普遍到深入过每个人的生活，它们的背后都有着深层的缘由。在成为一个真正的大人之前，青少年们会遭遇所谓“青春期的挫折”，和父母间的隔阂、模范生离家出走、失败甚至疾病，双亲要担起寻找挫折意义所在的责任，不以单纯的好或坏去定义孩子。作者还从现在很普遍的社交恐惧症症状出发，谈到一个现代的成人启蒙仪式应该是怎样，对死亡和再生的看法也很独到。之后步入了社会成为了大人，人与人的关联也会带来孤独感和归属感的问题。

不管是大人还是青少年，挫折和迷茫是生活的常客，看似拖慢了我们长大成人的进度条，实则不然，而正是因为有了这些难处，才给了我们长大成人的机会。关于“大人”的定义，其实尚未有定论，而在小编看来，在经历了生活的洗礼之后，敢于去面对长大成人的种种难处，能主动担起做好自己的责任，可能就算得上是一个初长成的“大人”了吧。

小时候想长大，长大了想回到过去，其实，人就是在这样的矛盾中，悄然长大了。

下面是这本书的部分摘录供大家品读，一起来看看吧~

我们不要以自己作为大人的经验去思考如何对待那些青涩的青年，而是要意识到我们自身也面临着“什么是大人”“自己是否已经是大人了”这一类的问题。

We are not supposed to think from the perspective of an adult’s experience about how to treat the young but to recognize that we ourselves are also faced with such questions as what is an adult or whether I am an adult already.

没经历过挫折的人不是青年。

Whoever has never experienced setbacks is not a person in youth.

没有任何现实意义的雄心壮志，最终都会遭受挫折和打击。如果不考虑对策，只顾着高兴，最终会造成无法挽回的结局。

Whatever ambition that has no realistic significance will eventually encounter setbacks and frustration. If you just feel satisfied without thinking of any practical response, it will ultimately lead to an irreversible result.

不管怎样，人有时只能从经验中获取知识，为了获得深邃的智慧，必须体验相应的痛苦。

Anyway, people sometimes acquire knowledge merely from experience, so for the purpose of gaining profound wisdom, we need to feel the sufferings accordingly.

亲子纽带能给予对方自由，同时也能让人相信它的存在。但是，我们为了增进彼此的关系，必须经历切断的悲伤，并努力克服这种痛苦。

Parent-child bond can give each other freedom and make people believe in its existence. However, in order to strengthen the relationship between them, they must go through the sadness of cutting off the bond and strive to overcome the pain.

家人间的对话，大人和孩子的对话，只要具有深刻意义，在某种意义上都会呈现对决的姿态，因为和风细雨的交谈无法解决任何问题。但是这一对决并不是以战胜对方为目的，而是为了促进相互成长。

Family talk, especially parent-child talk, manifests a feature of confrontation in a sense, because mild and gentle conversation cannot produce any effective solution. However, it is worth noting that this confrontation does not aim to defeat the opposite but to promote mutual improvement.

但在必须考虑“进步”的现代，不仅是修炼者本人，父母也要体验死亡和再生。虽然父母已是大人，却不能懒散，有时也必须体验剧烈的变化。

But in modern times where people must consider “advancement”, not only the nearly grown child but also the parents should experience “death” and “rebirth”. Although the parents are already adults, they cannot be idle and need to sometimes experience dramatic change.

真正的权威者，超越了宽容好或严格好这种二选一的思考范畴。他们不会判断哪个答案会对孩子有帮助，而是会指出什么才是应该存在的事物。

The real authority thinks beyond the dichotomy between tolerance and strictness. They will not judge and decide which of the two is useful to children. Instead, they will point out what it is that should exist.

在青年期，年龄越小，本人就越无法意识到这些能发现问题的意义探索，而只会在挫折的现象中感到困惑。对这样的青年说“寻找意义”是没有用的。大人要真正让他们站起来，必须安慰他们，帮助他们，鼓励他们。

In youthful age, the younger one is, the less possible for him or her to realize the significance explorations that are conducive to finding the problems, and he or she are simply confused by the situation of setbacks. It is no use saying “find meaning” to these young people. To really make them stand up, adults need to comfort them, help them and encourage them.

相比原始社会，现代在各方面都更为复杂，人的意识也不再单纯。我们会享受这一复杂性，但与此同时，孩子长大成人也没那么容易了。

Compared with the primitive community, modern society is more complicated in all aspects of life and people’s mind is no longer simple. We enjoy this complexity, but at the same time, growing up is not easy for children any more.